Proud Single Mom



I have decided to hide my identity for the sake of my son who has a good relationship with his father and although I would like to share my story with you, I would not like it to negatively affect my son’s feelings towards his dad despite our negative experiences. My story goes like this, I was a 28 year old graduate, working for a local mobile network company at one of their branches in a town that attracts a lot of tourists. I was single and with no prospects for marriage in sight you can imagine that my parents and extended relatives began to worry that I would not get married and not give them grandchildren. I on the other hand, was not really bothered at all. I was making good money and I enjoyed having the freedom to travel as I pleased when I was off work. Closer to my 30th birthday was when I starting getting a bit concerned but not to the point of settling out of desperation. I did not want to be stuck with someone I did not love just so I could be called ‘Mrs’ so and so.

My birthday fell on a Friday that year and I was always extra happy and extra made up on my birthday. Why not? It only comes once a year after all. Working in customer service did tend to get repetitive and boring but nothing was getting me down on that day. As I was going about my work this customer walked in wanting to have a line registered and so I assisted him with that. The conversation was extra friendly and when it was time for him to leave, he told me he had been served by friendly customer service agents before but none of them were this welcoming and he asked me why I was different. I told him it was my birthday then he nodded and said it made sense. He asked me out to dinner to celebrate my birthday and without a moments’ thought, I agreed as I had not made other plans yet.

He called me that evening from his newly registered line and we met for dinner at the hotel he was staying at. We talked for hours and he told me he was into construction and he was overseeing a building project nearby. He was so warm and inviting, also very gentle and sincere but I was not jumping to any conclusions too soon. He brought me lunch the next day and we had dinner again after which he told me he was leaving the following morning but enjoyed my company so much and wanted to see more of me. We started dating shortly after that and although he lived in another city, he came twice a month to check on the project and closer to its completion he came every weekend which meant that we got to see each other a lot. About a year went by and the project was complete. I was anxious as to what would become of our relationship if he no longer needed to make work trips to my little town. He left the next morning promising that he was going to make time to come and see me and that when I had time off work I should visit him.

We tried this for a few months and I was hopeful at first but it was not the same. He got really busy with other work projects in other towns and I did not get time off as much as I wanted to. Not being able to see each other really put a strain in our relationship and although I was still willing to try to make it work, I had even put in a letter requesting to be transferred to his city and was just waiting for approval. He had already started entertaining other options without my knowledge then eventually decided to leave me. I was hurt but not totally shattered because I thought to myself, if he was not willing to work for our relationship as hard as I was then maybe he was not worth it. It was two months after the breakup when my world seemed to fall apart.


I knew it was his because I had not been with anyone else since we had separated. I thought ok maybe if he still loves me I can forgive the past and we can move on and raise the baby together but when I called him to tell him the news he did not pick up. I then decided to send him an inbox on Facebook saying that we needed to talk and that he should return my call. It was then that I saw his picture with another woman. This was the first time he had her on his profile, believe me, I used to check! And a status update that said “Soon to be dad”. I was like, “huuuuh???”

I called him repeatedly until he then finally picked up with a cold, “Ndeipi?” (whats up?) I was furious. He had been seeing this girl months before we broke up and I went to see himproud single mom during that time that he was with her but he did not have the decency to free me. After telling him that I had just found out I was 9weeks pregnant and that it was his, he went quiet and then after some time said, sorry I have moved on but I will take care of the baby if it’s really mine. No apology for cheating on me and stringing me on! Our child was made during that time that he was carrying on with his other woman. Had he just been honest about his feelings and let me go instead of trying to keep his options opened. Nxa!

ANYWAY, my son is 6 years old now and so is their son. They got married. He lives with me and visits them on school holidays. I just praise God that his step-mother is a godly woman and that she takes good care of him when he is there because I have heard horror stories about step-mothers abusing step-children and initially was reluctant to take him there. I am glad that there is no animosity between her and I because that would affect my sons chance of bonding with his dad. My son is still young but I know there will come a time when he will ask me why he has two moms and why he can’t live with his father. I pray that I have a sufficient answer for when that day comes but for now, I am working hard to make sure that my son does not lack anything. Out of my mess came my purpose in life. My best friend and little, strong defender. He is my number 1 priority and I would not trade the special moments that we create daily, for anything else in the world. As for marriage, well, if I ever find someone who my son would agree to sharing me with and chances are slim (LOL) then maybe

Written by Anonymous,

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