Nothing on earth could have ever prepared me for the period in time that made me realize that my oldest boy was not a little boy any more. After turning 13 and starting high school, I thought it was time to introduce my son Jay-yuh to some deodorant. I decided to get him the Nivea brand of products, and so I bought him a set containing deodorant and some roll-on. I was so proud of myself and got home thinking that I would definitely get a big smile and a hi-five. The hugs were getting kinda scarce so I wasn’t going to hold my breath for that; but I was hopeful all the same. After the greetings and usual pleasant enquiries of each other’s day, I pulled out the fancy little gift bag containing the gift and handed it to Jay-yuh, whose eyes immediately lit up upon seeing the package. After inspecting the contents of the gift bag, his face screwed up into a frown. He looked at me and in his just broken, man voice, said to me, “Mom. Where’s the cologne?” I was dumbfounded to say the least and still laugh about it to this day. My lil’ boy, not so little anymore! I then told him that he would buy his own cologne when he made his own money. Ha ha ha!
I will never forget the day I held him in my arms for the first time. After 12 hours of labor, in December of the year 1999. My second little guy, Jay-oh, came along 4 years later, after 2 and a half hours of the worst physical pain I have ever experienced. The moment he was out, he cried and I cried too. The nurse walked into the room to find both mother and child crying hysterically. I’m sure I provided her with some good humor for the day. The pain was soon forgotten when I looked upon his beautiful face. I fell in love again. Though his arrival was celebrated, it heralded the end of my relationship with his and Jay-yuh’s dad. Not only did he leave us but he decided to move to another continent altogether. Nothing had prepared me for that emotional pain, and to lose my dad the following year and then my mum a few years later was an even bigger blow in my life. Living at home with my parents had been the one thing that had given me strength to move on after the break up, and now a few years later my pillars of strength were gone. I was now mother and father not only to my two little boys but to five innocent young ladies, who were my 2 late sisters’ children.
Fortunately I had a steady job working at Edgars Stores. I remember at Christmas time I would make sure everyone got something new thanks to having an account at Edgars, this I did even knowing I would have a huge instalment after that. I also remember crying at times that my kids did not have the privilege of spending Christmas with both their parents like I had growing up. But with time God has comforted me through His word that all things or situations work out for the good of those who love him and are called according to His purpose.
I am proud to say that despite having the boys with me full time and it seeming like a difficult task, they seem to be turning out fine. I hear a lot of parents complaining about boy children being naughty and unruly. That for me is foreign. Jay-yuh was a prefect in grade 6 and then head boy of his school in grade 7. There also have been no calls to the headmaster’s office for any unruly behavior ever since he started high school. My little guy Jay-oh is the most caring and helpful being on the planet. He is in grade seven this year and already he is playing provincial basketball. Medal already in the bag. He is always ready to share his food with anyone and everyone. Watching out for the little ones around him, and whenever he is asked to do a task, he does it speedily and with a smile on his face. Jay-yuh on the other hand when asked to do something will ask you 50 questions why??!!! Sure the task will be done, with a too serious and almost angry face on.
I remember one time after ordering Jay-oh to take a bath, which is not his favorite thing in the world, I decided to sit down and watch some television. I got so engrossed in the flick that I tuned the rest of the world out and could not hear him calling out, “Mooom!” for my help. I was then startled back to reality when I heard a little boy’s shout, “Priscilla!” I was like waaait! Did this boy just call me by my first name?! After a few seconds of shock I burst out laughing. He had definitely gotten my attention alright! Being with them has helped me realize the differences in their characters and to appreciate and nurture their strengths while working on their weaknesses. I love them both the same with all my heart and life, and I would never trade this experience for anything in the world.
I used to worry a lot that maybe they would develop some feminine tendencies because of not having a father figure, but God knows His plan and has allowed my 26 year old nephew to come live with us for now so the boys have a man around them to do guy stuff with. Things like playing video games, talking about cars and, they get to watch Top Gear together. With me, we have the occasional pizza and ice cream outing. It’s something the kids and I do together and always look forward to. Praying and reading the bible together has also helped us to bond. I am so grateful to God for these wonderful gifts in my life and I know that ALL THINGS WILL WORK for our good, as long as we keep our eyes on God our Father. Peace and grace to all the single moms out in the world. Happy Father’s Day mommies!
Cynthia Priscilla Chieza
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